I’ll admit that I really did not have much desire to see Godzilla. Big budget movies featuring monsters beating each other up are not really motivating to me. There isn’t usually much of a story that I care about other than the trite and usually force-fed ‘guy loses love of life’ story line in which he must find redemption by pouring his heart into killing off the monsters that took her away. Maybe one day they’ll slay a real life monster and have the love of their life be the same gender or something. But until then, robots beat each other up. Monsters fire lasers. Dinosaurs romp crazily. But when I received a text message from GI Joe which simply said “Gojira,” I knew I was going.

My friend from Montana, Mr. Boring/Panic, had just arrived in the city for a museum conference. I passed the idea on knowing he’ll have to unexpectedly negotiate the bussing system diagonally through the city to get to Seattle’s famous Cinerama. When he excitedly said “yes” the night was set.

How I feel about monster movies.

It was his first time seeing a 3-D movie and amongst the hyper fans ready to see a constant battle of childhood, world famous titans, his energy was pumped. I was now more of the open-minded/let’s-hopefully-have-some-fun crowd.

And you know what? I did.

Scientist Joe Brody is forced to sacrifice his wife to save Japan from a nuclear meltdown and for the next 15 years tries to find the reason for the unearthly tremors that destroyed the power plant. In that time he became more estranged from his son Ford Brody. It feels like in an American-made movie that starts in Japan and uses world-famous Japanese stories, the writers desperately wanted to come up with the most masculine but more importantly American names ever. Ford’s son is Sam.  Joe, Ford, Sam. Last name Brody. I mean, come on! Why not just name them Red, White, and Blue?

Turns out the tremors were caused by – you guessed it – giant monsters. Since Joe lost his wife this way, here is your monster-takes-loved-one-away plot as these movies always have. Except this one does it twice. I’ll leave that for you to find out on your own. But let’s just say there’s nothing more American than rising above personal, debilitating, emotional pain to save your family.

Two of America’s best names.

Mr. Boring/Panic flipped his glasses up and down a lot at this time in the film to compare 2-D to 3-D. Earlier, just prior to the movie starting, GI Joe yelled from the balcony to some guy named Carter down below that he was awesome. The entire theater then cheered for Carter. I have interesting friends.

On the screen we follow Ford as he realizes his father is not crazy. The big monsters are real and the world’s governments created the program “Monarch” to hide the existence of these creatures for about 50 years, while closer studies could be made. Just about now is when we are introduced to Dr. Ishiro Serizawa, who, if you know actor Ken Watanabe, gets to deliver some of the craziest lines with a gravity usually associated with death. That guy is amazing as he widens his eyes to realize this giant egg they are keeping warm is about to hatch a famous moth-like giant creature. Your program is called Monarch, just as a clue. This creature is never called Mothra though. So who knows.

At least now we have our villain. Just gotta wait for Godzilla to show up.

GI Joe is having a blast, laughing out loud at some of the more ridiculous moments. I have to admit though, playing the whole thing straight faced was the right decision. From the opening credits which show cast and crew names as if they are redacted government documents hiding the existence of Godzilla, it’s all very effective and serious. I mean it’s giant monsters fighting, you really have no choice but to take it seriously. The effects look amazing. But the director focuses mostly on Ford and his desperate attempts to get back home and save his family whilst donning his military uniform and fighting monsters. Oh yeah… he’s military. America! er… Japan! uh.. America!

As I scanned the crowd I see Mr. Boring/Panic has settled into his 3-D experience, no longer flipping his visors up and down. The crowd was into it.

Hey – what’s that in the distance?

One of the great things director Gareth Edwards does is mostly show the monsters in bits and pieces. Godzilla has come out of hiding to fight the moth creature and they cross the ocean to crush San Francisco. But since we are focused on Ford, much of the monster battles is in the corners of the screen. Sometimes big moves get tantalizingly obscured by fog or closing doors. The effect is akin to “being there” where you might want to watch them fight, but really, all the falling debris keeps you looking all around. And this keeps things interesting. Not playing all the cards at once makes the moments where we get to focus on the beasts really worthwhile.

The crowd was extremely well-behaved. Often when I see a movie opening night, the kids of the world throw Skittles and annoy me. But people were totally into this. And when Godzilla shoots fire for the first time, everyone loses their mind with a huge cheer.

Ford doesn’t give up his multi-faceted approach to saving country and family at the same time. We watch as he just exhausts himself to survive, which reflects that we in the audience are kind of exhausted too.

This is serious stuff people!

It ends basically how you expect it to. At 123 minutes, I have to say it feels a little long. Like, do you really have more than two hours of ANYTHING to say about giant monsters? Fortunately this movie is really about families in peril, unfortunately Ford’s story isn’t that interesting. Everywhere he goes monsters just show up and he saves people. He’s the Jessica Fletcher of Godzilla films.

Some of the fights are fun. A sequence on an airport train approaches thrilling. And everything moves along nicely. It’s quite well constructed. But it feels like 123 minutes. That’s for sure. I guess they think there’s more to say because the door for a sequel is wide open.

Enjoy.